Just like that, his expression is faltering and there's a lot of tension and uncertainty... and maybe a bit of fear, upon just hearing the reminder... ]
That's... [ a steady breath as he gives a wry smirk and shakes his head ] ... Yes.
[ He gives a sad smile. There's no point hiding it, right? ]
I'm... a failed Change of Heart. They were trying to save me, but they- killed my Shadow - the one guarding my Palace... I've been told the death should be quick, at least.
[ Aiden's looking at the floor. ]
Just when I realized I really do want to live, too... When I've finally gained-
[ There's a shaky breath as he shakes his head, a distance entering his gaze and his forced smile. ]
[ Also probably has to do with how his imagination summoned up this as a possibility. So he's been bracing himself for just about anything up until now... heh... ]
You don't have experience with Changes of Hearts, so it's understandable that you haven't encountered anything like this. I'm going into what's referred to as a Mental Shutdown, I believe.
I admittedly don't know a ton about those, but I do recall a mention of some going into a coma before death.
Essentially, I'm- going to lose all will to go on. It's kind of like ... rotting to death ... from where a figurative heart used to be, I guess.
[ There's more bitterness. ]
To be perfectly honest, I think this is probably the most fitting death I ever could have been given.
[Oh. That part about losing will? That... sure is having Akira tensing and his eyes widening a bit, before he looks away...
...
But, the last part has him looking back over, and he's frowning at Aiden... before giving a sigh and rubbing the back of his head, then looking to the heart's image again.
His brow is furrowed as he stares at it hard, wordlessly...]
[ Aiden's quietly staring at the floor now. His mind isn't going to a very nice place, what with everything he just said.
... He knows he told Masayoshi he wouldn't give up. In truth, he-... he wants so badly to believe in those words? He wants them to have been more than just a reassurance to the older man. He wants to have that drive he'd only just gained...
While he'd meant it when he said he doesn't want to die, he wants it to be more than just a fear of leaving him behind... that's keeping him glued to life. He misses when it came from within...
One hand presses to his face, a tense breath slipping out. All the while, the silhouette is crying, looking to be completely terrified. Terrified, but also maybe a little determined for just a moment. And, in that moment...?
[Akira watches it quietly, heavy-hearted. But when it reaches out to him, his eyebrows raise up and his breath catches a little...
His mouth parts slowly as he starts to reach back out to it, seeming mesmerized for a moment...
Before his pupils suddenly shrink and he gives a sharp gasp, jerking his hand away before he and the heart's image touch.]
I...
[He stares at the image a bit more, then slowly looks up to Aiden.]
One of my abilities...
[He puts his hands into his pockets.]
Is incredibly risky. [His gaze shifts away for a moment as he explains.] If it fails... it's... similar to what you described. A person just loses their will to live.
It can only work if whoever I'm using it on trusts me completely... And normally, I use it to help people past the demons that they have the hardest time letting go of.
[He looks back to the heart's image.]
I have no idea if it'd do anything for you. [And back to Aiden.] But... if that's a risk you want to take...
It's... the sort of trust that's developed over time, through a strong connection. When I say trust me completely, I mean... you'd trust me with your darkest secrets, with feelings you're afraid to show anyone else—... things of that nature.
I realize we might not have much time, but... If we keep meeting up and getting to know each other every day for a couple hours a day... it might work.
If... we do manage to develop that trust in time, and it doesn't fix what's wrong, it... should at least allow you to feel a bit lighter for awhile. Take some of the weight off your shoulders.
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timeasmymeasure
Week 1
Date: 2019-03-13 02:53 am (UTC)Monday
Date: 2019-03-13 04:16 am (UTC)...hey. Got a minute?
no subject
Date: 2019-03-13 04:35 am (UTC)Sure.
[ Just turning towards him, hands sliding into his pockets. ]
What's up?
no subject
Date: 2019-03-19 02:08 am (UTC)... does it have to do with your heart?
no subject
Date: 2019-03-19 03:22 am (UTC)Just like that, his expression is faltering and there's a lot of tension and uncertainty... and maybe a bit of fear, upon just hearing the reminder... ]
That's... [ a steady breath as he gives a wry smirk and shakes his head ] ... Yes.
[ He gives a sad smile. There's no point hiding it, right? ]
I'm... a failed Change of Heart. They were trying to save me, but they- killed my Shadow - the one guarding my Palace... I've been told the death should be quick, at least.
[ Aiden's looking at the floor. ]
Just when I realized I really do want to live, too... When I've finally gained-
[ There's a shaky breath as he shakes his head, a distance entering his gaze and his forced smile. ]
Sorry. Um... why are you asking?
no subject
Date: 2019-03-19 03:35 am (UTC)Akira's brow tenses, hands curling at his sides... Fuck, that's...
Urgh...
He takes a deep, grounding breath.]
... I'm not sure what all you just mentioned, but... I have abilities that have to do with emotions... and the heart.
[He holds a blink, bowing his head briefly, before looking up at Aiden... and using his Heart's Eye on him.]
I'm... curious about something.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-19 03:49 am (UTC)There's a dim smile as he nods. ]
You do...?
[ Wariness very faintly grips his chest, but he gives a nod. ]
Okay... about what?
[ It's... a little worse than the last time. The image is on the floor, curling into itself, panting. ]
no subject
Date: 2019-03-19 03:58 am (UTC)... is it a sure thing? That you'll die from what happened to you?
[Heh, judging by his heart's appearance...]
no subject
Date: 2019-03-19 04:01 am (UTC)Yeah.
[ Slowly, he's following Akira's gaze... There's no wariness with the next question. Only curiosity. ]
Just what... are you seeing? When you talk to people...
no subject
Date: 2019-03-19 04:51 am (UTC)I see people's true forms. Their deeply buried emotions... In essence, their raw emotions in their purest form. I see the state of their heart.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-19 05:18 am (UTC)Oh...
[ He gives a bitter smile. ]
So... How bad?
[ Just... how bad does his look? ]
no subject
Date: 2019-03-19 07:47 am (UTC)He looks to the heart's image, brow tensing...]
...I don't know. [He looks to Aiden.] It's bad, but I've never seen anything like it. So I have nothing to compare it to.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-19 09:37 am (UTC)You don't have experience with Changes of Hearts, so it's understandable that you haven't encountered anything like this. I'm going into what's referred to as a Mental Shutdown, I believe.
I admittedly don't know a ton about those, but I do recall a mention of some going into a coma before death.
Essentially, I'm- going to lose all will to go on. It's kind of like ... rotting to death ... from where a figurative heart used to be, I guess.
[ There's more bitterness. ]
To be perfectly honest, I think this is probably the most fitting death I ever could have been given.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-19 10:51 pm (UTC)...
But, the last part has him looking back over, and he's frowning at Aiden... before giving a sigh and rubbing the back of his head, then looking to the heart's image again.
His brow is furrowed as he stares at it hard, wordlessly...]
no subject
Date: 2019-03-20 09:44 am (UTC)... He knows he told Masayoshi he wouldn't give up. In truth, he-... he wants so badly to believe in those words? He wants them to have been more than just a reassurance to the older man. He wants to have that drive he'd only just gained...
While he'd meant it when he said he doesn't want to die, he wants it to be more than just a fear of leaving him behind... that's keeping him glued to life. He misses when it came from within...
One hand presses to his face, a tense breath slipping out. All the while, the silhouette is crying, looking to be completely terrified. Terrified, but also maybe a little determined for just a moment. And, in that moment...?
It reaches out to Akira. ]
no subject
Date: 2019-03-23 05:52 pm (UTC)His mouth parts slowly as he starts to reach back out to it, seeming mesmerized for a moment...
Before his pupils suddenly shrink and he gives a sharp gasp, jerking his hand away before he and the heart's image touch.]
I...
[He stares at the image a bit more, then slowly looks up to Aiden.]
One of my abilities...
[He puts his hands into his pockets.]
Is incredibly risky. [His gaze shifts away for a moment as he explains.] If it fails... it's... similar to what you described. A person just loses their will to live.
It can only work if whoever I'm using it on trusts me completely... And normally, I use it to help people past the demons that they have the hardest time letting go of.
[He looks back to the heart's image.]
I have no idea if it'd do anything for you. [And back to Aiden.] But... if that's a risk you want to take...
no subject
Date: 2019-03-24 08:44 pm (UTC)His gaze lowers as he seems to be thinking quite a few things over. There's a pause as he does. ]
... Okay.
[ With a deep breath, he lifts his gaze back to Akira. ]
I trust you.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-26 03:06 am (UTC)[He puts a hand to his face...]
It's... the sort of trust that's developed over time, through a strong connection. When I say trust me completely, I mean... you'd trust me with your darkest secrets, with feelings you're afraid to show anyone else—... things of that nature.
I realize we might not have much time, but... If we keep meeting up and getting to know each other every day for a couple hours a day... it might work.
Maybe. I don't know.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-27 09:04 am (UTC)Gotcha.
[ Darkest... secrets, huh? There is a bit of discomfort at that part, actually, but he holds a blink, swallowing thickly. ]
There's only... one way to find out, right?
no subject
Date: 2019-03-27 11:18 pm (UTC)If... we do manage to develop that trust in time, and it doesn't fix what's wrong, it... should at least allow you to feel a bit lighter for awhile. Take some of the weight off your shoulders.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-28 07:20 am (UTC)I appreciate this much, at least...
no subject
Date: 2019-03-29 03:14 am (UTC)[He offers Aiden a small smile.]
So, wanna go grab a bite to eat?
no subject
Date: 2019-03-29 04:12 am (UTC)Absolutely.
Week 3
Date: 2019-03-29 02:06 am (UTC)Tuesday
Date: 2019-03-29 02:20 am (UTC)That good?
no subject
Date: 2019-03-29 02:24 am (UTC)Yeah. [ tiny smile ] Can't see a thing.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-29 02:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-03-29 04:15 am (UTC)... then he huffs. ]
Or so you think.
[ Hint... of a tiny grin. He turns, head positioned to indicate he's "looking" in Akira's direction. ]
Careful, Akira. I'm just as dangerous blindfolded.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-29 11:01 pm (UTC)Stop that??? Aiden is— seriously unfair at times...]
I don't doubt it.
[He reaches forward and places his hands on Aiden's shoulders, giving an unseen grin of his own.]
Doesn't make what I said any less true.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-30 12:56 am (UTC)So, it's as simple as letting myself fall backwards, right?
no subject
Date: 2019-03-30 02:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-03-30 09:23 pm (UTC)[ And he's only an inch taller than most versions of Akira. ]
no subject
Date: 2019-03-30 11:49 pm (UTC)[Definitely!]
no subject
Date: 2019-04-01 09:56 am (UTC)If you drop me, I'm making you make my food for the next two weeks.
And you have to be the taste tester for all my cake attempts.