cellkey | mockmurder byanyother

cellkey

Nothing upsetting about this CR.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

cellkey

[Ah.

It isn't to say that Akira regrets what he did. Not at all. But he's... definitely aware that he's being watched more closely, now...

There's a slight widening of his eyes.]

I'm—

[He lets out a breath. As if Kurama would fall for that... He looks away.]

... I'm as fine as anyone can be in this situation.

[Heh, suddenly he feels a bit... nervous. Kurama and him are— similar, in some ways. How... hard would he press?

Mmm...]

But I do have people who worry about me. And I'm lucky to have them.

From:

byanyother_name

I see. And for how long before all of this have you been 'as fine as anyone can be'?

[Despite the sass of the words themselves, Kurama's tone is one of quiet, gentle patience and concern.

It's not heavy pressure. But it might actually be worse that way.]

If you consider yourself lucky, perhaps you should actually make use of your fortune. Let them, us, in.

From:

cellkey

[...ah.

That sure is a gentle insistence, and his gaze flicks to Kurama. There might be... a touch of vulnerability there.

He looks away again.]

I have been... More than I've ever let others into my life before.

[The half truth feels dirty on his tongue... He's tensing up...]

Look, a lot's happened and we're all going through hell right now. People need a pillar of stability. And I've got practice doing just that. If I get overwhelmed... then they'll help me out.

Otherwise, I'm—

[Ah. He holds a blink.]

Managing.

[Damn, he's slipping...]

From:

byanyother_name

[Ah. That's a terribly, terribly familiar line of reasoning. It carried Kurama through Maze Castle, through the Dark Tournament, most of the way through Sensui...

It carried him through half of the mall.

Until it stopped carrying him and started drowning him.

Kurama steps closer, lifting a hand to touch Akira's face gently. He shakes his head, expression soft and concerned.]

It's exactly because we're going through hell that you can't do this, Akira. You're not managing, are you? You're just doing exactly what I did and tucking everything away in little boxes for a later that never comes.

'If you get overwhelmed'... do you think that's guaranteed to happen at a safe time and place if it's because you simply have no more strength left? If the center cannot hold?

I let you help me, Akira. [His voice softens further, but there's unmistakable conviction under that gentleness.] Please, let me help you, too.

From:

cellkey

[Akira's breath outright catches as Kurama's hand touches his face. He's staring at him, wide-eyed, cheeks a little pink. As he talks, he can't quite help the shiver that runs through his body.

Heh... Kurama really... is a lot like him...

He swallows thickly, and blinks at the redhead, letting out a slightly uneven breath. He's... tense...]

You want to help me to repay the favor?

[He's watching Kurama carefully now...]

From:

byanyother_name

[That reaction... Kurama tucks that away to think about later.

The hand on Akira's face strokes his cheek gently before slipping to rest against the back of Akira's neck. The tug is delicate, barely there, urging Akira closer without demanding anything.

He smiles, small and soft and maybe just a tiny bit sad?]

I want to help you because I care about you, Akira.

From:

cellkey

...heh.

[He kind of wishes Kurama would stop looking at him like that, and his gaze trails away. He feels that inviting tug, and some part of him... genuinely aches to sink into it.

After a moment, he reaches up and takes his glasses off, folding them and putting them into a pocket. Then he quietly steps forward, and slowly lowers his head onto Kurama's shoulder. But the movement is somehow... stiff and forced. Like part of him doesn't want to do this, even when part of him does.]

... I heard you talking to Ren in the kitchen.

From:

byanyother_name

[Kurama's fingers gently stroke Akira's hair. But just for a moment, until Akira's words still him. He sighs after a moment.]

I know. That form has even keener senses than this one.

[He closes his eyes.]

I'm sorry if I overstepped. I know you have strong feelings for Ren.

[And more right to them, when Akira didn't have promises to absent loves keeping him from truly...]

From:

cellkey

[He lets out a breath.]

Overstepped...?

[His tone almost seems— hurt... He starts to draw away.]

I don't have any claim on him. Not to mention that I'd be a huge hypocrite if I told you to back off.

He deserves people who love him— especially someone as.. passionate about it as you.

And if he feels the same way, then you deserve him, too.

[He looks away.]

If you're fine with me and him being a thing, too, then you don't have to worry... I won't be an obstacle to you two.

From:

byanyother_name

[There's a brief moment where it seems like Kurama will try to keep him from drawing away... but it passes, with a flicker of pained resignation. He won't keep Akira anywhere he doesn't want to be.]

I deserve very little, Ren least of all, I think. But I suppose I'm glad you think so well of me.

[He sighs quietly.]

I don't have any objections to you being with Ren, Akira. I would never. You're better for him than I am to begin with. If the two of you can make each other happy, there's little that would please me more. You're both important to me.

From:

cellkey

[...ah. He felt that. He stops receding and tenses up a bit. He didn't mean— he's fucking this up, isn't he...]

I do think well of you.

[There's a small edge of frustration to his words, and he looks up at Kurama, gaze challenging.]

You've been nothing but good to both of us since we got here, Kurama... What the hell does it matter that you have other people already? Or that you've done awful things in the past? The important part is genuinely caring...

Unless you only care because you're looking for your boyfriend in us. Because you miss him and you feel like you can be with him in some small part if you're with us.

[Heh, why the hell is he—... He swallows thickly, eyes getting slightly glossy.]

Is that what it is?

[...shit, and his voice isn't quite stable when he says that, either...]

Edited Date: 2019-04-11 06:24 am (UTC)

From:

byanyother_name

Do you think that I'm not still capable of terrible things, Akira? It's not as simple as placing it in the past.

[Kurama sounds more sad than anything, though that changes as Akira goes on. Looking for his- Fire sparks in green eyes, his expression hardening. It's not anger, but it's definitely something fierce.]

I did only tell Ren this, didn't I? The exact reason I went out of my way to spend time with both of you from the start was so I wouldn't fall prey to that! I had to know you, to see more than a face and superficial similarities, so that I see you and not him.

And both of you are well worth caring about on your own merits...

From:

cellkey

[... heh. He knew that, honestly. As he'd gotten to know Kurama, it was clear he wasn't that sort of person.

He just needed the other to say it, so that he can start moving forward, either to get up in Kurama's face or start forcing him back— depends on how Kurama reacts...]

Then what is it that's so terrible about you that we shouldn't dare to get close to you? What could be so awful that it outweighs everything you've done for us. All your concern, your hugs, and just your companionship...

What could be so unbearable about you that it would be better to take all of those things away?!

From:

byanyother_name

Please...don't ask me that, Akira...

[Kurama looks down at Akira with open pain on his face. His hands move to catch Akira's arms gently. So damn gently.]

What you did... you helped me find my way out of a very dark place. And I'm stronger for it. Much stronger.

But there are still things that would break me. Secrets I need to stay hidden in the dark.

Please. I just need a little longer.

From:

cellkey

[Akira's frowning at Kurama, having stopped in his advance with the hands on his arms...]

... fine. But no more talk about me being better for him. And if you really do care about him, you won't pull away without giving him a chance...

[He gives a sigh and looks away...]

From:

byanyother_name

[Kurama's hands slowly slide up Akira's arms to his shoulders. There's a brief moment of tension there, like he might pull Akira into a hug...

But isn't sure it would be welcome.]

I won't pull away. Not from him, and not from you. Not unless one of you, or both of you... decide you don't want me around anymore.

I promise.

From:

cellkey

[...oh...

Akira stands still for a moment, then lets the tension drain out of him.]

And no more talk about me being better for him.

From:

byanyother_name

[Kurama's smile is small and wistful and one of surrender. His emotions are like...a tangle of thorns wrapped in cotton. Pain and guilt softened by affection and...maybe something deeper than just affection?]

As you wish.

Edited Date: 2019-04-12 03:09 am (UTC)

From:

cellkey

[His breath catches in his throat as he stares at Kurama, slowly turning... red? ... very red, in fact.]

I— uh...

From:

byanyother_name

[He probably should have known better than to play pop culture references with any version of Akira.

Kurama lifts a hand, fingertips delicately brushing one red cheek before falling away. There's a flicker of something sad.]

...is that too far?

From:

cellkey

[There's a small shiver at the fingers... There aren't words at this point. Just... noises coming out of his throat.

Congrats on flustering Akira speechless.]

From:

byanyother_name

[Shiver at his touch is...probably good. Insofar as 'good' applies to the fact that Kurama can't really-

But the ongoing speechlessness is still enough to build nervous tension. Uncertainty creeps into Kurama's green eyes and his emotions.]

Akira?

From:

cellkey

—uhhh...

[Oh, look, a functioning voice box. He... slowly brings up a hand to cover the lower half of his face.]

You know, it totally just sounded like you Princess Brided me, right there.

From:

byanyother_name

Ah, did it?

[They don't vanish but Kurama's emotions go fuzzy and hard to read as he tries to conceal them from Akira's empathy.]

Sorry.

From:

cellkey

[There's a blink when Kurama's emotions are hidden from him... And the blush slowly dies away as a bit of an irritated look comes to his face.]

... seriously...?

[He gives a huff and looks away.]

Nice trick, I guess. Shame it isn't retroactive.